I've never flown RyanAir before, opting for EasyJet when I lived in London. But now I've gotten to experience them in all their glory and I have never been nickled and dimed and subjected to more humiliation in my life as a traveller. These guys make Southwest look like a first class cruise. I bought a ticket from London to Montpellier for about $65, which is actually very expensive for RyanAir (who are known for giving away tickets for free), but it was the best I could do.

First things first, immense lines full of sullen and hungover English folks, then a general irritation that I did not write down my confirmation number. Who writes that down? They had to spend an extra 12 seconds looking up my reservation by my last name and they were not happy about it. My mistake, no big deal.

Then, they baggage fees. 15kg is the limit. Most airlines will give you 30kg, or 50lbs in the US. But I had 21kg. Bam! £27 fine. Then they almost made me check my laptop bag - no way I was going to allow that.

The flight itself was fine, and I knew in advance there would be no free food of any kind (at least Southwest gives you peanuts and Coke). On Ryan Air, they only serve name-brand junk food, which they presumably get for free from the Mars corp, and they will even charge you for water. Later, they come around and try to sell lottery tickets. Ok, these are technically for charity, but still!

But the ultimate demonstration of their cheapness came when we landed in a blinding rainstorm in Montpellier. RyanAir is too cheap to pay the fees to have the jet bridge extended to the plane. So we pulled up to the gate, within about 20 feet of the jet bridge and had a staircase brought to the plane. Everyone had to run about 100 yrds through the rain and an inch deep river to the terminal. People where falling over on the tarmac and droping things left and right. Hilarious.

My hands are still covered with some horrid glue that got all over my suitcase from the cheap (now soaking wet) tags they stuck all over it. Anyway, what can i say? You get what you pay for, but I paid too much!